Wednesday, February 10, 2010
My Struggle As A Stay At Home Mom/Housewife
I struggle almost daily with being a stay at home mom/housewife. Before I was a stay at home mom I worked in a hair salon 5 days a week and my oldest son had to go to daycare or an after school program when I worked. I actually enjoyed working other than the old lady boss who needed to retire. I would see probably between 10 and 30 customers per shift. It was always something different. I always had immediate feedback and I would get compliments on my quality of work often. I knew I was good at what I did. When The Man asked me to stay home when I was pregnant with number 2 I fought with the idea in my head and in my heart. I wouldn't have to miss my kids milestones or most of their days any more but I would have to have more duties in the house and not very many opportunities for adult interaction. I reluctantly agreed with The Man after talking to him about my concerns. I am not the perfect housekeeper and I can be quite unorganized at times. I find I will start one task and half way through sometimes I will walk away to do something else and totally forget what I was originally doing. It really takes a toll on me because I really cant figure out a GOOD daily routine that allows me to get everything done and entertain the kids all day as well. One thing I discussed with The Man before I started staying home was that I knew I wasn't going to be great at the housework and that I could not be the only one responsible for all of the housework alone. I understand that The Man works hard and brings home the money but I don't think he understands how hard it is entertaining, trying to teach the kids, and cleaning house all day. He thinks that I get to sit and watch TV and play on the computer all day. I rarely ever have the TV on since I find most of the shows a little absurd and the extra noise is just a headache waiting to happen. The Man used to be a real huge help around the house when I first started staying home but recently has started to lay more in my lap. It is difficult for me to confront him about this issue as I get quite angry and lose my words easily and cannot explain my feelings eloquently. I feel strongly about helping my two little ones learn the basics they would learn if they were attending a preschool since they are home with me all day and do not have the option of daycare to help them learn. I love watching them learn new things everyday. There are days like today when I really would like to scream at The Man and put the kids in daycare and go back to work but, where would that get me? Not very far as the daycare here is quite expensive and I most likely couldn't make up the cost of daycare as well as my cost of clothing and other job related expenses like new tools and such. I really do try to cherish each and every moment at home but today I am having a hard time with that.